Tuesday, April 29, 2003
My Easter Exclamation Mark!
I went to the Easter Vigil at St. Robert's Saturday night. Suddenly things were much clearer. The Holy Spirit granted me one of those rare moments of insight and understanding. Here's the backstory first: I was never a big fan of Easter. As a kid I can remember that Christmas seemed so joyful and full of hope. Easter on the other hand, seemed like a funeral. When I was an altar boy I served at the Good Friday liturgy of the Lord's Passion. That had an impression on me. Once I was so overcome by dread and terror that I ran out through the Sacristy to the outside, fearing that I would be sick. We never went to the Vigil. We always went to Mass on Easter Sunday. All the flowers and nice clothes were sickly sweet to me, like a funeral. Perhaps it's no wonder after my experiences on Good Friday. Even as I grew older and eventually drifted away from the church (and back again) I still preferred Christmas. It wasn't the gifts or even the family gatherings. Frankly the resurrection just didn't impress me. The apostles hadn't known what they were getting into. We on the other hand have the benefit of 2000 years. We know Jesus is God. Why should it surprise us that he was able to raise himself from the dead? I didn't say or think that intending to sound like a heretic. It's just that I have this sense of the greatness of God; so the incarnation impressed me much more. That the God who is existence itself, who created the universe, placed the stars in the heavens, numbered the grains of sand on the beach, who holds us all in existence by his mere will, that God should take it upon himself to become one of us, to be born of woman, grow as a child, walk from town to town with his feet hurting and sore, then ultimately to permit himself to be nailed to a cross by his own creation, that God would do any of this, let alone all of it, was and is nearly unfathomable to me. The resurrection seemed to pale in comparison. I just wanted to praise God for being God. For having anything at all to do with us who have failed him so miserably and constantly.
But this year I realized that over time my understanding had changed. My view broadened without my knowing. I sat a few weeks ago in a faith sharing group engaging in what I jokingly refer to as resurrection bashing, that is describing my view just as I did above and just as I was finishing with my spiel I realized I didn't believe it myself anymore. Not that I didn't believe everything I said about the incarnation, but I could no longer say that the resurrection of our Lord was some how less significant in my heart. By grace I was beginning to understand with my heart that church teaching which I already assented to with my head. Then, at the Easter vigil, the picture came into focus. I listened as the new fire was kindled. I watched as the light of the Easter candle spread throughout the church. I heard the voice proclaiming "Christ our light", and the response "thanks be to God". I heard the Exsultet and the readings of the Old Testament, then the epistle and the Gospel. We had no converts in our parish this year but if we had I would have heard a litany of the saints including Abraham and Isaac, Moses and Elijah. Now I got it! The liturgies of Holy Week leading up to the Easter Vigil tell the whole history of God and his people on earth. All of the promise of creation, the promises of the prophets, all our hope in God, all that we hold to be true is completed, fulfilled and sealed in that moment when the angel tells the women "He is not here, HE IS RISEN!"
There is a postscript to this story. Five years ago I moved from Binghamton, New York to Warrington, Pennsylvania. I had a plan. I would move to Pennsylvania, work full-time in the shop and on the road to help build up the company I work for. I would make more money along the way. Then, after two years max, having strengthened the company and my own resume', I would be able to move back to Binghamton or my hometown of Buffalo. I was slowly coming back to the Church at the same time but I didn't think that had anything to do with where I lived or worked. God it seems had a plan and intent somewhat different from my own. I didn't get to do as much of the kind of work I would have preferred. I spent a lot of time cooped up in the office or the shop. But along the way I was able to work among many different Christians. I began to go to mass regularly. I listened to the brand new Catholic radio station that came to town just after I did. I went to confession. I registered in my parish. I visited the Shrine of our Lady of Czestochowa right up the road from where I live. I even worked at the Cathedral of Sts. Peter & Paul. On visits to DC I went to the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. Eventually I tagged along with an RCIA class in my parish and then was confirmed, seventeen years after I walked out of my first confirmation class. Now I've been able to make a pilgrimage to see the Pope. I've even been privileged to tour among Catholics. But God waited for one more thing. Just a few weeks ago I committed to moving back to Buffalo, this coming September. Then God granted me new insight and understanding at Easter. As the resurrection completes our hope in God, this deeper understanding completes this time in my life. God didn't lead me to further my career or even to help bring success to a company. God led me to a time and place to be converted, to come to know him more fully. If the past several years of my life were a sentence, then this Easter was an Exclamation mark!
posted by JTC 9:07 PM
Monday, April 14, 2003
The Bishop and the Athiest
posted by JTC 2:19 PM
Sunday, April 13, 2003
Happy Birthday Eileen! WooHoo!!
Had a nice visit today with my sister Eileen and friend Rob. They came up to Philly from the DC area to play tourist. Along with a thorough walk around Center City (which I don't get to do often) we visited the Rosenbach Museum. It's one of those places I wouldn't have know existed.
I've always wanted to go around and take pictures of every storefront church I can find. Somebody's already beat me to it. And those are only in Brooklyn!
Yesterday was spent at a local drumline and colorguard competition. There were some open divisions but most of the kids were from high schools. I have to say that I was impressed. All the kids seemed as if they'd worked very hard and some units were pretty darned good. I watched the host school rehearse throughout the morning. It was real apparent how much effort they had to put it in and the amount of teamwork it takes to pull it all off. Musically some of these kids are going to leave high school with an amazing sense of timing. I'm pretty down on what our culture is doing to kids today but yesterday made me feel better about it. These students were hard workers and to boot they actually looked like kids! The boys didn't look like they were in a prison fashion show and the girls didn't look like thirty year old divorcee's. I know that these kids were mostly from decent schools and represent only a portion of the student bodies but still I was impressed. I hope that God will take the joy and commitment they have and do great things with it.
JTC
Palm Sunday 2003
Warrington, Pennsylvania
posted by JTC 9:51 PM
Friday, April 04, 2003
It is very difficult for me to respond to articles like this:Does Columbia University Hate America?, without spewing anger and sounding reactionary. There are plenty of people in America with divergent views on any issue. Most of them are capable of speaking to each other with respect for their opponent's opinion. Not to mention understanding that it is only in America that such a diversity of viewpoints can thrive. Of those academics and others at Columbia University or anywhere else, I can only ask: If you despise America with such fervor, why are you here? Are you honest enough to tell your neighbors how you feel? Perhaps wear an "I hate America" t-shirt. Why not just get out? I'm sure the French would love your company.
posted by JTC 1:24 PM
